First day at Summers

(This post is written on 6th April, 2009, 11PM)

I am writing again after a gap of almost 9 days. The last few days of March kept me busy in the last term exams of the first year in IIM Lucknow. And yes, we did have a couple of project submission during the exams also. After that, on 31st, I had to do a lot of shifting of luggage (in plain and simple Hindi, I did a lot of “coolie-giri”). Then I took a cab with friends to reach Kanpur. I had my train at 11:30 PM, so to pass time (and just to simply pass time) I had to indulge myself in the shameful (and somewhat penitentially) joy of drinking beer.

The next day (on 1st of April) I reached my hometown (Burdwan, West Bengal) on 3 PM. And the next two-and-half days had just gone in a fizzy. Loads of places to go (to meet relatives, actually), loads of homemade food etc. made the days look even shorter. And then again on 4th April I was in East Coast Express. A journey which takes almost 25% time extra than normal, not to be mentioned incidents of some newly promoted managers’ over-enthusiastic business plan discussions on their business trip (yes, recession made managers travel in 3rd AC) or one nagging attention-seeking unfashionably chicness moron girl, left me with little energy when I reached Secunderabad station next day 6 PM. After placing my luggage to a place (which is supposed to be my temporary address for almost next two months), I headed to meet a very old friend. After loads of chitchat we went to a restaurant called RV in Begumpet to have a proper Bengali buffet dinner (there was a Bengali food festival in RV). It was like “been there, done that”. Eat loads of stuff while catching up with old friends and acquaintances.

After a hush-hush sleep, I prepared next morning to go to the HMRI office. After a wait of more than half an hour, we met a person named Venu Madhav Chennupati. He looked like a decent normal guy working for a so-so NGO. Boy, how wrong I was!! HMRI turned out to be a huge organization with more than 7000 people working and also a huge expansion plan. The next 3 hours left me dumbstruck by seeing the magnitude of their operations. And that decent guy turned out to be a Wharton MBA who was working for the last 12 years in World Bank. The next few hours flew by listening to presentations made by IIM-A, IIM-B and IIM-C guys, and what touched me most is their passion for contributing towards a cause, towards a common goal for a better tomorrow. By 5 pm, I was contemplating an idea of joining HMRI after my MBA, but was sad to know that their business model requires people who can read, speak and write Telegu. Till 7:30 PM, my perspective towards my summer project has turned just 180 degree opposite. Now I am looking forward to get my project in HMRI.

Mumbai Attacks-- some basic questions

The main faces behind any terror attacks or so called “Zihads” are never known; they are the persons who inspire others to act in cowardice manner to achieve their own interest. Some persons will be there who wants to gain personally from any incident and to achieve so they never think of such “foolish” concepts like wellbeing of their own people or their country. So are the cases with Pakistan and Afghanistan. Some ultra-religious maulvis or extremist leaders are there, who wants to achieve a higher position of power by creating unrest in India. My blame is never against them. They will be in all countries, be it in the form of Bin-Laden in Afghanistan or Raj Thackrey or Narendra Modi in India. Only a handful of people spread the concept of so called “Zihad”. So it would be not apt to say that all Pakistanis or Afghans believe in that concept. Like US went into Vietnam War but most of the Americans did not support this. In every case, every situation, every country, critical decisions are taken by few, and they are short-sighted (in most of the cases) about welfare etc.

My concern is different. We know, a lot of people are angry against Pakistan now, especially for the Mumbai attacks. But if I ask for some volunteers today, that “let’s go, have some guns and kill some Pakis”- how many would come forward? Probably none, because we all fear death. It is well established theory in psychology that fear is the greatest motivator, and fear for life is supreme among all fears. So what is so strong to motivate this bunch of youths to take a gun and attack Indians? What is so strong they believe in so that they even overcome the fear of death? Some devilish people are behind the curtain, agreed; but what about the front runners? They are common man like you and me- many of them are Indian citizen also (involved in past attacks). We don’t take a gun and go on killing Pakis, so what made them so angry, so retaliate that they don’t fear even death? Does not this problem rooted somewhere deep in our system? I wish I could have the answers.

Does not it say that there are some problems from our side? Why after 60 years of independence some Muslims rejoice on the Independence Day of Pakistan, cry when Pakistan loose? Does not it point a finger towards us? We, Bengalis, always think of “Amra” and “Ora”. I remember, Aparna Sen, the editor of Desh, written in 2006 Desh Editorial that “Kaalipuja and Bhaiphota” are the two festivals with which the festival seasons of Bengalis end. I protested and sent a letter saying that just after 4 days of Bhaiphota, Id is there (on 2006). So we consider Bengalis and Muslims to be separate. Muslims can’t be Bengalis, right? If you observe the common language of Bengalis, they always point out to Muslims saying “oder” or “ora”. We separated them from us for the last 60 years, and if they try to find out that separate “oder” identity by celebrating Pakistan’s Independence Day, it makes us angry. Why? Has not the time come for a self assessment for all of us? It is very easy to blame others, but it is difficult to own the responsibility. I own the responsibility saying that even my parents discriminate between a Bengali and a Muslim (like there is nothing as “Bengali Muslim”). I don’t like it.

It is high time we must find the cause that why some young Indians are going in wrong direction? Some people are brain-washing them, agreed; but can a brain wash be done without even some valid points? Nobody can brain wash us, right? So why are they being targeted? Why they feel separated from us? They are my brothers. And I can’t let my countrymen die. We must find a solution. Alas, if I had had one.

After a long time today I felt that I can write something; or rather I have to write something. The daily chores and back-to-back busy schedule is taking a toll on me, and I am feeling depressed. Something you cannot share with anybody- some primal fears. Blog is the right place to take out your sweat, to spit your venom against this ruthless heartless world.

Am I sounding a bit taciturn and not in the gay self of me? Sorry, but that’s life.

Anyway, forget it. Today I am going to talk about something which is eternal, boring and till everybody wants to fall in to it. Yes, it is love.

What is love? I don’t know, simply!! I feel that it is a bond between me and my extension. I love those persons whom I think are extensions of myself- conforms to the beliefs, culture, mental set up, values that I believe in. can you love Osama? Probably not, because he does not fit in to your bill of a “good” person. We love those who strengthen our views toward life and its components. That’s what I believe in. I may be wrong, but then please correct me.

We have been told from the childhood that we must respect others. But how? Nobody tells us. I believe to respect someone I need to respect his choices. I may love to read poetry and he may hate every bit of it, I may hate terrorism and he may worship Lashkar, but I need to respect those choices to respect the person. We only respect those choices which conform to our shell of safe-beliefs; any other thing can be termed anything as “rebellious” or “weird” or “nerdy” or anything. That’s why when a south Indian eats sambar-rassam we say “Oh look, what a shit he is eating.” But when someone questions my food habit of “maachh-bhaat” (fish curry and rice) I call him a “moron”. Actually we are brought up like that. From childhood we are taught to be in a small boundary of social beliefs and norms, confronting that or crossing that was a strict “no-no” and parents would have told us to “discipline” ourselves.

These narrow-mindedness, not to respect others’ choices, not to accept someone as he/she is, are the reason of not respecting each other. How could you? And then started clashes- in name of Allah or God; in name of country, in name of culture and so on so forth.

Lets spread love, lets make this world beautiful. Lets accept someone as he/she is. Lets respect his/her choices and wishes. Let peace prevail. Ahem.

Ishwar, tomake

Aami konodin Ishwar ke dekhini
Kayekbaar dekhbo dekhbo koreo
Dekhte paai ni.

Jakhoni Ishwar ke khujte jaai
Uni chhata haate lukiye poren
Tuk kore, bhirer madhye.

Kintu kaal raate tini esechhilen
Amar aatsho square foot-er flat-e
Eka, choshma chokhe, chhata bagole,
Aar eshe amake jigges korlen-
“Bal shala, tui ki chaas?”

Aami shudholam- “Hey Ishwar,
Tumi jadi sarboshoktimaan hao,
Tabe tomari toiri prithibte-
Keno eto rakto? Keno eto khide?
Keno eto supto Gujrat,
Keno eto jalanto Nandigram?”

Ishwar haaslen, tarpor
Choshma khule dhutir khute muchhlen.
Tarpor ektu hese (mane hay swargiyo haasi ekei bole)
Bollen: “tor chhele to 9 bachhorer,
Football khelte jaay na?”
Aami bollum: “Hyan, kintu…”
Ishwar: “Se ki khelte giye chot paay naa?”
Ami abar bollam: “Hyan, kintu….”
Ishwar bollen: “takhon tui ki koris?”

Aami ektu bhebe bollam:
“Aami takhon oke boli sabdhan hate,
Aaro sabdhan hate habe, porle
Cholbe na, egote habe shudhu.”
“Aar jadi taar poreo abar pore?”
“Takhon aar kichhu boli naa,
Boli ebaar nijei nijer jatno naao.”

Ishwar ektu mridu haaslen.
Hotaat dekhlam dhuti pora,
Chhata bagole, choshma pora
Ishwar-er mukhta aaste aaste
Amar mrito baba-r mato haye jachche.
Aaste aaste tini dhoyay miliye jachchen.

Aami chitkaar korlam: “Ishwar,
Tumi kothay? Tumi kothay?”
Amar bhetor theke keu bole uthlo:
“Ei to baba, ekhaanei aachhi”.

Bhalobasa oshukh saray-
Hayto saray,
Bhalobasa a(n)dhaar taaray-
Hayto taaraay.
Bhalobasa aa(n)khipallob
Chhuyei naame
Bhalobasa Dharmatolay
Chithir khaame
Bhalobasa shesh bikele
Anmona jhor
Bhalobasa hotat korei
Eksaathe ghor
Bhaloabasa Gariahaater
Chaayer Dokaan
Bhalobasa amar baarir
Jirno uthaan
Bhalobasa amar maayer
Chhera aachol
Bhalobasa sehsh raate te
Aalor aadol
Bhaloabsa hotaat shona
Suman-er gaan
Bhalobasa take dekhei
Mon aanchaan
Bhalobasa oshukh saray-
Habeo baa taa
Bhalobasa udaas maner
Kathokota

Aami bhalobasa jaani naa
Aami shabhyota jaani naa
Aami raajniti jaani naa
Aami dharmoniti jaani naa
Aami Mohabharot jaani naa
Aami Ramayan jaani naa
Aami Bin-Laden jaani naa
Aami nine-eleven jaani naa
Aami Rahul Dravid jaani naa
Aami holi-r aabir jaani naa
Aami Bertolt Brecht jaani naa
Aami Rail Budget jaani naa
Aami Rembrandt jaani naa
Aami K(n)udghaat jaani naa
Aami Metro rail jaani naa
Aami jobakushum tel jaani naa
Aami Ekta Kapoor jaani naa
Aami Tupur-Tapur jaani naa
Aami Sharukh Khan jaani naa
Aami Benarasi paan jaani naa
Aami “Taare Zameen par” jaani naa
Aami “Chokher Baali”, “Dosor” jaani naa
Aami Nokia, Samsung jaani naa
Aami Barreto, Baichung jaani naa

Aami shudhu ekta kothai jaani
Je, jedin tui amake “hyan” bolechhili
Sedin theke amar sob ‘naa jaana’
Dheke gechhe opaarthib aaloy.

Priyo Priyanka:

Je sabhyota
Tomake chhiniye ney amar kaachh theke
Je ganotantro
Amar odhikaar dharjyo kore amar dharmo dekhe
Je sorkaar
Amar prem ke baatil kore chhure fela chaayer bh(n)aarer moto
Bolte paaro-
Keno b(n)aachbo sei prithibite??

Aami rajniti jaantam na
Aami dharmo mantam na
Aami bishwas kortam ei ganotontre
Aami bhabtam—
Ekhane sobar somaan odhikaar

Aasole bhul chhilam—
Je ganotantre PhD, shikkhito Lakkhonkaku-r
Aar nirakkhor rickshawala Biltur baap-er
Dujoner-i ekta korei vote
Se ganotantre somaan odhikaar karur nei.

Taai chollam,
Karon bujhechhi etodine-
Tumi aar aamio somaan noi ei sabhyotaay.

Iti, hatobhagyo, Rizwanur